


Words of Death

by TheNobodyofaSOLDIER



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Awkward, Awkward Flirting, Detectives, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Farewells, Forensics, Grief, Kissing, Rough Kissing, Sadness, Sex, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:07:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28953168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNobodyofaSOLDIER/pseuds/TheNobodyofaSOLDIER
Summary: One shots for "Death Note!" Some of these are a little older. Will add more characters later.
Relationships: L (Death Note)/Reader, Yagami Light/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	1. Bizarre Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old boi right here

[L x Reader]

“Ryuzaki...Ryuga...Ryuzaki...L....Um, Hideki Ryuga....Whatever the hell you call yourself? Coil? Uhh, Sherlock? His royal genius?”

No response came from him as L buried his eyes into the words imprinted on the computer screen. You crossed your arms and tapped your foot.

“Ryuzaki,” you said for the seemingly millionth time. “Ryuzaki. Ryuuuzaaaaaaaaakiiiiiii?” Now, you were practically singing it.

Before you could even inhale to say it again, his black eyes turned to meet yours.

“Why aren’t you home, [Name]?” he asked, dropping a piece of chocolate in his mouth. “You know I gave everyone this time to sort things out with their families. You don’t have to be here.”

“Yeah, I know,” you grabbed the seat next to him and placed your feet against the edge of the table. “But, my parents are used to me being gone. Besides, I told them I was at a hotel. They think I’m spending time with my boyfriend.”

He casually slid a piece of shortcake over to you which you graciously accepted the offer. “You have a boyfriend? You’ve been hiding a man this whole time? How scandalous of you.”

You laughed. “I have friends who are male,” your eyes glimmered at the lovely, syrup covered slice. “But, I let them think what they want.”

“That’s funny,” he swiveled his chair towards you. “I always thought you kinda had a thing for Light too.”

“You kidding?” you scoffed. “Misa would have my head. Light’s just a friend. He isn’t really my type.”

He stared at you awkwardly for a second. “You have a type?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I guess. Everyone does though, right? I realize Misa isn’t Light’s at all, but she’s a damn tick,” you chuckled to yourself as you gathered a bite in one side of your cheek. “Funny, I’m not really sure what Light’s type is,” you said half to yourself.

L hummed to himself, stuffing a few more candies into his mouth. The computer screen buzzed and flickered for a minute before he pressed a button stabilizing it. He glanced back over at you as you practically inhaled the last bit of your cake. Once you set it aside, you made your obvious intention of stealing more of his goods with your intense, ravenous scrutiny.

He was going to need a bigger tray.

“Watari?” he motioned to his partner. “Would you mind obtaining some more food? Miss [L/N] and I would be most appreciative.”

The old man hid an amused smile. “As you wish, Ryuzaki,” he said before calmly taking his hat and coat, exiting the premises.

L pushed around a sugar cube with the tip of his finger across the glass plate. Although he didn’t say this to anyone, but he sent everyone away in hopes to complete some tasks on his own, to clear his mind. He wasn’t used to working with so many people up close and while he trusted them (well, mostly), he sometimes needed some time alone to think things over and refocus. However, you weren’t about to leave anytime soon. He got the feeling that you enjoyed your work and more surprising still, enjoyed his company. You were the only one out of the task force who took any of his sweets when he offered or even didn’t. You were always caught swiping them even in the middle of important discussions. Your sitting position was almost like his, just with your feet propped against something and usually leaning back in your seat.

It was as if L released the inner weirdo you concealed for so long.

“So, Miss [L/N],” he finally said, popping a peanut butter cup into his mouth. “Have you and Light always been this close?”

“Hm?” you turned with the fork stuck in your mouth. “Yeah, he was my tutor for a few subjects. Had it not been for him, my grades wouldn’t have been as good as they were. But, that’s kinda how we became friends.”

“Have you both always been this passionate about joining the police force?”

“Yeah, we have. It was my dream, especially to become a detective.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“I thought about going into criminal psychology once I met Light,” you placed down yet another empty plate. “But, I just aimed to become a detective, one that works in the midst of it all.Like you.”

He started construction on a sugar cube tower. “Have you ever been flatmates with him?”

“No-” you paused. Then, you turned and narrowed your eyes with a smirk. “Are you asking me this because of the whole Second Kira incident?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Alright, you got me.”

You chuckled. “No, I stayed with my parents.”

He hummed again as he observed the wobbling sugar for a moment. “I see.”

You rolled your eyes and shrugged your shoulders. “Not a big deal. I got used to it. It did get annoying but I could manage. They were always on my tail about something. Always saying, ‘you need a man! Get a boyfriend!’ Blah, blah.”

He stifled a laugh. You turned to watch his tower quiver back and forth. Finally, you took the top cube and tossed it in your mouth. To his disappointment, the tower crumbled over, clanking across his plate and spilling over into the table. It didn’t stop him from starting again.

“[Name],” he began only to leave it hanging awkwardly in the silence.

After waiting a few seconds, you asked,

“Yessss?” you suddenly braced yourself.

“Have you ever slept with anyone before?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you blinked in disbelief. “Beg your pardon?”

“I’m asking you if you’ve ever had sex with anyone before,” he said so plainly as he stacked his cubes.

“Yeah, yeah, I got that.”

“People like you are a little more daring than meets the eye,” he said. “Have you ever engaged in an intimate relationship?”

Normally, if he has been any other person, you’d probably slap him. But, the more you let it simmer, the more you thought this was Ryuzaki you were talking to, a man with social skills considerably worse than an awkward fifteen year old. He was always asking bizarre questions. How was this any different?

Sliding your fingers through your hair, you replied, quite relaxed,

“Nope. I haven’t.”

“Have you thought about it?” it was almost disturbing how bluntly he spewed out these personal questions.

Yet, you remained cool. “Of course I have. I have functioning hormones just like anyone else. I went through puberty just like anyone else,” you paused a minute. “I’ve messed around with myself,” Did I really just say that? “Just like anyone else.”

Your eyes glued to him. Not a change in emotion at all.

“Hmmm, yup,” he said. “I know what you mean.”

You laughed. “You? You’re not just anyone else.”

“Believe or not, Miss [L/N],” he flipped his tower over with his index. “My body works just like any normal person’s. I did strange things too when I was young. It’s my mind that’s so different.”

“Yeah, and you’ve definitely lost that brilliant mind of yours in the gutter somewhere,” you leaned against your arm and swirled the remainders of the icing left behind on your plate.

He smirked. “I sure have.”

And that’s a good thing? “Why are you suddenly so interested in my sexual development? It’s not a big deal, you know. Everyone endures it.”

“[Name],” he paused one more time. “Would you have sex with me?”

Your eyes widened and suddenly, you choked and spluttered. “What?”

Finally, he turned his head, eyes burrowing into the back of your skull. “I said would you have sex with me?” His voice was so low, so intent.

Where the hell did that come from? Your face showed no sign of anger or annoyance; to be honest, you weren’t even embarrassed per say. It was more like someone just told something that you had completely forgotten about or buried away in the back of your mind. Your cheeks tinged a little.

You’d be lying through your teeth if you said that the thought hadn’t crossed your mind before or if you at least wondered about it. You liked Ryuzaki a lot; you appreciated his work. You cherished the fact that you could be as bizarre and awkward as you wanted and not be reprimanded or criticized for it. You loved that he listened to what you had to say whether related to the Kira case or not. He even slipped in a few jokes that only you would catch every now and then.

Sure, you really liked Ryuzaki, probably even more than you even knew.

After clearing your throat again and turning away from his gaze, you shrugged your shoulders and mumbled,

“I dunno. That’d be up to you.”

He pushed his chair closer to yours so he could at least plant his face right in front of yours. His breathing was slow and lifted your hair slightly.

“It’d be up to you too, you know,” he murmured. “You can’t have sex with just one person. And masturbating doesn’t count, since that’s only touching yourself.”

You blinked stupidly. What were you supposed to say? Was he planning something right now?

“Are you,” you swallowed. “Are you thinking about -...right now? Right here?”

He leaned in closer, his lips barely skimming yours and his hand across your thigh. “Would I be asking if I wasn’t? I’m a rather lonely person, [Name]. It’s not very often I come into contact with a beautiful woman who appreciates and kinda likes me. In fact,” his breath was so warm, tickling your skin, and he just barely leaned in for a full kiss. You could’ve just devoured him right there. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a beautiful woman who appreciated me in person,” he ran his hand along your leg.

You narrowed your eyes. “Why, you no good-”

“I never imagined,” he whispered. “how soft a woman’s skin would be,” he protruded the tip of his tongue enough for it to graze the top of your lip. “Or how moist your lips might be.”

You gulped down a hard lump in your throat as his hand traveled inwardly into dangerous territory.

“Wonder what you-what we would be like together in bed,” his index finger stroked over your clothed core. “What do you say, [Name]? Think you might want to experiment a little with me?”

Your heart pounded your ears and your stomach. The tingling inside you suddenly burst into flames. “I’m not gonna lie,” just one centimeter was all you needed to swallow his lips. “the thought had crossed my mind from time to time.”

“Good,” his hand gently encircled yours.

So close. He was so close-!

Suddenly, the door flew open, and he was back in his original spot in the exact pose he was before he invaded your bubble space. You froze.

“Ryuzaki! We’re back!” it was Matsuda.

For a moment, you actually wanted to throw something at him.

“Welcome back everyone,” he said normally, as if nothing had happened.

Following Matsuda came the rest of the task force trailing behind, including Watari with a bag full of groceries.

Of course.

Biting your lip, you rose from your chair. You didn’t even look back at Ryuzaki, as your face was as red as one of the strawberries on his cakes.

“Hey, [Name],” said Matsuda. “Where are you headed off to?”

Don’t look upset. Don’t look stupid! “I’m alright. Just needed to get something outta the way.”

“You alright? You don’t look too well.”

DAMN. “I’m fine. I promise.”

Before he could say anything else, you shoved passed him in a rush. Once you slammed the door, everyone glanced at Ryuzaki, waiting for some kind of explanation.

In his usual fashion, he shoved another large piece of chocolate in his mouth.

“She’s alright,” he explained. “Her stomach is a little upset from eating so much sugar. She can’t handle as much as I can.”

Satisfied with that answer, they nodded and gathered everything together to continue their work.

What they couldn’t see however was the devilish, little smirk Ryuzaki was hiding.

“Yup, she probably needs to do something about that,” he said to himself, nibbling on a strawberry.


	2. Last Goodbye

[L x Reader]

You rubbed the sore and tight muscle in your neck, staring blankly into thick storm just outside the window. Just a few moments before, you had twisted it in the middle of an exasperating, yet satisfying, work out. Normally, you managed to avoid such clumsy mistakes, but, ever since you volunteered to assist with this case, you focused less and less on such petty activities. Your mind was tangled with thoughts of the murders taking place, possibilities of the criminal's identity.

Often times, you frequently thought about L, the greatest detective in the world, now in charge of the Kira case. You found herself at his side most of the time, writing out whatever he said, making multiple discovers and conclusions from his words. To your surprise, he actually appreciated this gesture. You felt important, trusted, as if someone finally looked passed your peculiar quirks and habits, taking your mind seriously. Despite the chaos and constant fear of your heart suddenly stopping, you did your best to contribute, refusing to be overlooked. This modern day Sherlock Holmes never underestimated your potential.

But, with L, something else lingered between you two. You were not sure what it was, but you could sense an unfamiliar aura of vehemence in his muscles when standing or sitting next to you. As time rolled on, you noticed a strange appeal, even attraction to him. Despite his pale face, big black eyes, dark bags and unruly, ebony hair, you were still drawn in a like fish on a hook by his brilliant mind, his acute reflections, and even his delightful, social awkwardness.

This strange detective remained glued to your thoughts.

As you continued to ponder, you realized that you had never fallen in love before. No one had ever fallen in love with you. You suddenly began to wonder that maybe you would finally endure such an experience-despite the awkwardness and quirks on both ends of the spectrum.

Perhaps.

As you continued to massage your neck, you gasped when your vision was blocked by cold fingers.

"Guess who?" came a familiar voice.

You smirked. "Hello, Ryuzaki. I was just thinking about you."

"Good things, I do hope."

You chuckled. "Why would I think badly of you?"

"I'm sure there are multiple answers to said question, but I'm flattered all the same."

To your surprise, you sensed the tips of his fingers touch the sore spot on your neck. He suddenly pressed hard, causing you to yelp out of reflex.

"Sorry," he murmured, shrugging his shoulders. "You'll get used to it."

You gritted your teeth for a few seconds, but at last you managed to breathe and relax.

"See?" he pushed his thumb against the tenderest part of your injury.

You winced. "Yes; you are quite good at this."

"Ah, thank you."

A few moments of silence passed. You, exhaling deeply, closed your eyes as L continued to releasing the tension in your neck. The room was cold, and the only sound to be heard was the calm, slow breathing of the two individuals and the soft pattering of the rain. His fingers felt like icicles against your skin. As you leaned your head back, you felt a sudden drop of water fall upon the tip of your nose. You blinked for a second, but when you looked, you noticed that L had obviously been standing out in the rain. His hair was soaking wet. That also explained the frigid dampness of his white skin.

"L," you said, touching the tips of his bangs and an amused smirking gracing your features. "You are drenched. Silly."

"Yes: I suppose I am," replied he, blankly.

Then, you took the leather jacket hanging over the arm of the chair. You carefully began to dry pieces of his thick ebony hair. His eyes appeared melancholy and heavy, not his usual blank owl-like stare. But, all the same, he still deliberately kneaded the tightened muscle. He glanced away as if to conceal this new expression.

"L? What is wrong?" you asked.

After slowly raising his head, L stood perfectly still. His eyes were unfocussed and lost. He was silent.

"L?"

No reply. Just empty silence.

"Ryuzaki? Em, L?"

"I hear the bell."

"What? Bell?"

"Yes. The sound of the bell has been unusually loud today."

Crazy talk again? "Well, I can't hear anything."

"Really? You can't hear it? It's been ringing non-stop all day. I find it very distracting," he gradually slid his fingers into your sleek, warm hair, "I wonder if it's a church, maybe a wedding."

"A wedding?"

"Mmhmm," he flexed his fingers, tangling your hair and closing his eyes, "[Name]?"

"Yeah?"

"You and I are friends, right?" his eyes still locked in the middle distance.

"Yes, of course," you slowly lowered your hand.

"If I asked you a question, even if it was personal, would you answer truthfully?"

"Yes." Hm, what did that mean?

"Tell me: what do you have planned for yourself in the future? I mean, after this nonsense is over and done with."

You blinked for a moment and then bit your lip. "Eem, well, you know, I want what any normal woman desires; find a nice guy, settle down, have a family," you dug your finger into your cheek. "Not much else I can think of."

L opened his eyes. Then, he smirked lightly. "You are not normal, [Name]."

You just chuckled and blinked innocently.

Then, L bent down placing his chin on your head, still fiddling with your hair. The atmosphere seemed so friendly, so happy. But, what you did not realize was that he was expecting something soon to befall him. Originally, he was not the slightest bit afraid of what was to come. And then, when he took his first step into this room, into your presence, all of that changed in a second.

"[Name],"he said, softly.

"Ryuzaki?" you waited for his words.

L clutched a handful of silky hair between his palms. After sighing deeply, he bent down close to your face and pressed his moistened cheek against yours, placing a cold hand on the other cheek. Slowly, he inhaled silently through his nose, savoring your scent which was heightened by the fresh rain, a clean and comforting aroma. Your cheeks were warm and wet from contact of his. Little pieces of hair follicles brushed against his lips, tickling them as he breathed. It was almost as if he were memorizing every little detail, every little imperfection.

You were not quite sure what he was doing, but you knew by his odd actions and solemn expression that something bad was going to happen. His eyes, though still seeming cold and dead as usual, conveyed sadness, longing, even fear by his lowered eyelids. On the other hand, you were a little taken aback at how close he was to you. He never really showed these kind of actions to anyone. But, then again, you preferred his terms of affections over any romantic poetry or acts. These little things conveyed so much more. Because of his unique brain structure, a light touch on the cheek was a greater achievement than a passionate kiss or a dramatic confession of love. It was subtle and more importantly enough.

"Ryuzaki?" you whispered. "Are you okay?"

Suddenly rising from his current position, he replied,

"Do you want some ice cream? I have some over on the desk over there."

You blinked. He just stood and waited.

"Yeah, sure."

Then, he snatched your hand, leading you over to a chair.

"Come on," he said, and he sat in his usual position.

Carefully, he scooped up the mint chocolate-chip ice cream into his pretty, little porcelain bowl. Then, he gave some to you, while handing you a pewter spoon.

"Mmm. Looks great. Thanks," you murmured.

He nodded as he deliberately brought the bite to his lips. Slowly, he turned one eye towards you, watching as you calmly licked the mint off of your spoon. The fluorescent lights illuminated your hair, which curved gracefully over your strong shoulders. Your face, solemn and melancholy, appeared more attractive to him in a sense. It made him want to help you in anyway he could, melt away any hindrances, any predicaments you suffered.

Unfortunately, he could not; he did not have enough time.

You watched him out of the corner of your eye, slowly tracing the edge of the bowl with the tip of his finger, the cold glass sending shivers crawling up his arm. The sweet rich taste of the mint in the ice cream and the little pieces of chocolate gradually glazed his tongue. He carefully licked the scraps off of his thumb then began sucking on it as he usually did. His motions were not unusual, but why wouldn't this bad feeling go away?

Finally, he turned towards you. "[Name], dear friend, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you."

You glanced at him. Then, you cocked your head and smiled. "That's what friends are supposed to do, as far as I know. I have enjoyed it too."

"Yes, I suppose you are right."

A few moments of silence passed as the two continued to feast on their delicious treat. L, with his head lowered, murmured very quietly, almost inaudibly,

"It'll be lonely, won't it?"

"Hmm?" you replied with the spoon in your mouth.

"I do hope...you will not be too lonely, if you know what I mean..."

"Lonely, Ryuzaki?"

A small, yet endearing smile graced L's features. He reached over and toyed with the edge of one of your locks. "You and I will be parting ways soon."

Your eyes widened. "Parting? Wh-Wha-?"

He held a finger to your lips, his smile still perched upon his own. "So, you told me that you wanted to settle down?"

"Wait, L-"

"You know," he lowered his volume, "I may not be the typical young man you are used to being around, but," he began to whisper, "if you want, we could move to England together."

You could only blink stunned again.

"While we are there, Watari and I could show you Wammy's House; the orphanage at which I was raised. Would you like that? I could show you the children I mentored and played with as a child."

Parting. Of course, you thought at first that he meant that he was leaving the Task Force. Perhaps, the stress was too much for him. No, L never really suffered from stress. Maybe, he figured it out. Even still, L would never leave unless the rest of the police were secure and safe as well.

Maybe, Light was Kira. Maybe he had it solved this whole time.

Then, what did he mean by-?

Suddenly, you felt your lower eyelid twitch. Did he mean-? Surely not. Was he suspecting that he was about to die? No, it could not be. But, then again, L would not be making such claims without a reason, and he was usually correct when making such drastic assumptions.

Your muscles tightened.

No, it can't be, you thought. It couldn't be! Just when I-!

"Yes, I would like that very much," you replied, "I'm kind of a sucker for kids though. I might want to adopt some."

"Of course; I was hoping you would say that," he took another bite of ice cream from the large container.

"Yeah, I love kids," you looked at the melting ice cream placed on your spoon. Your lip began to tremble. You couldn't wrap your mind around these implications. It all made sense now! L was saying goodbye. "Every-Every child should receive a chance to live a long, n-normal life, a chance to be loved," Without you even realizing it, tears filled your eyes. Soon, they began to burn the corners. Your throat muscles ached and tightened.

At last, droplets rolled down your cheeks, glowing in the dim light, and your shoulders began to quiver.

"[Name]?" said L with the spoon in his mouth. He placed it into the bowl, then gently enclosed your face between his cold and clammy grasp. "[Name], what's wrong?"

You only shook your head.

He gazed into your face: obviously, you figured out what he was trying to convey. You were someone he knew cared and loved him, besides Watari. But, that was different. He was his fatherly figure.

This was far different.

"[Name]?" he murmured.

He felt the tips of his fingers prickle when he noticed the goosebumps on your arm. He stroked your cheek with the back of your hand. He then pressed his forehead against yours. His onyx eyes peeled open gazing into yours, now swollen and red-rimmed. His stomach began to ache.

"Please, don't cry, [Name]," L murmured in his usual monotone voice, "Everything will be alright. I promise."

You stared heavily at him, tears still falling, "But, Ryuzaki; parting? Do you mean-and after I just-I-I I mean-"

"Maybe, you're right;" he dropped his hands and turned back towards the ice cream "Nothing I say seems to make sense anymore."

"But, L-"

He placed a finger over your lips. Smiling in his usual way, he rubbed away droplets that had fallen at the corner of your mouth with the tip of his index finger.

"Perhaps," said L, "Watari could locate an appropriate facility for you and I to live. How would you like that?"

You swallowed hard and managed to force a smile. If what he said was true, then these happy hopes and dreams would never come true. But,they were meant to comfort and deaden the pain that was yet to come. When you gazed into his black eyes, you knew at once that he was fully aware of this. He did not underestimate You in any way. He understood you and took you seriously.

"L, I would love that-more than anything," Suddenly, you stole a large scoop of ice cream and shoved it into your mouth.

He chuckled, the shimmering spoon in his mouth. "I supposed you would say that."

You nodded meekly in reply, raising your head towards the ceiling. "Could it be, maybe, close to the sea? Or perhaps a place where it would snow every winter. Christmas would be so beautiful during that time of year. And think; we would live in England: one of the most lovely countries in the world."

L just stared. "Both sound wonderful."

"London would be a good place to stay."

"That is where the orphanage was founded."

"A better reason to live there!” You glanced at him and laughed, "Especially if we adopted some children."

"Yes. Sounds reasonable."

You grinned. You wanted to cry at the moment. You wanted just to break down and sob. But, if L was really going to die soon, it was apparent that he wanted to spend the last few moments that he had with you, and you did not want to ruin that.

"L," whispered you, lowering her head.

"Yes?"

You giggled and toyed with the end of his hair. "Nothing. I just wanted to say your name."

L blinked for a few minutes. Then, he smiled a little.

"Of...Of course," replied he. He brushed the tip of his index finger from your forehead to the tip of your nose.

You shook your head, "Ryuzaki, you're silly."

"Don't you always say that?"

"But, there's nothing wrong with that, of course," you had to turn away for a second before returning to him.

To your surprise, you found him directly in your face, so close you could feel the cold breath from his nose. His black round orbs gazed into yours, as he pushed his tongue against his thumb. But, then he placed his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. His other hand was up, as if waiting for yours. You felt her eyes fill, but at last, did the same. You laced your fingers between those of his free hand.

How you wished time froze right then.

"Ryuzaki?" suddenly came Watari's voice from the computer.

He raised his head, remaining silent for a moment. "Yes?"

"You are needed downstairs."

Pause. "Of course."

The room went silent. Then, you smiled.

"Well," you said, "Guess that means we better go then."

L tightened his hand around yours. "You're right."

You tried to keep your smile, but then tears dripped out of your eyes as you blinked.

"I'm sorry," L whispered, lowering his head.

You just chuckled lightly. "For what?"

"I did not want you to cry."

You opened your mouth to speak, but then you clamped your lips together. Suddenly, you just shook your head and playfully tapped the end of his nose.

"I'll meet you downstairs," you said.

L looked at you for a few seconds, almost as if he were about to say something, but could not get it out. He could only nod and rise from his seat. But, just as he was about to walk towards the door, he turned back towards you. Carefully, he bent down and pressed his dry lips against your forehead.

You froze and inhaled his scent. Peppermint and tea-as usual. Nothing one would expect coming from the greatest detective in the world. Even you thought he was going to be similar to the great Sherlock Holmes, found in all the story books. But, you were glad that he turned out to be this fascinating person:

L.

"Good-bye, [Name," L whispered, as he turned to leave the room.

You watched his hunched figure exit, until he could no longer be seen. Just as you rose to leave, all of the memories you had involving him, from the first time you had seen him to these last few minutes flooded through your memories. His face, his pale emotionless face, was forever engraved into your mind.

"You and I will be parting ways soon..."

Your hands violently trembled, and your eyes filled once again. Before you knew it, your face was on the desk, weeping bitterly.

Good-bye, L


	3. Staring Contest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old boi right here

[L x Reader]

Tick...Tick...Tick...

Seconds passed. The computers hummed monotonously within the quiet room. The flourescent lights illuminated the rooms, the light buzzing of the light adding to the tense silent.

You felt the lower lid of your right eye twitch as you gazed blankly into L's large black eyes.

"51...52...53...Almost a minute...," you thought to yourself.

L sat there crouched in his usual position, his eyes glued open. His face expression was blank. Black circles adorned the bottom of his orbs. His face appeared ghostly under the soft bulbs.

"63...64...65..."

You began to feel your eyes dry. Sweat formed on your brow. Yet, you were determined to win, for if you won this ludicrous game, L would reward you with your favorite cake, that delicious shortcake, its light, fluffy breading, the sweet, rich strawberry syrup glazing and soaking in the whiteness, the whipped cream topping the fresh strawberries.

Your mouth watered at the thought.

And yet, as L with pieces of his black oily hair hanging over his eyes looked fixedly into your eyes, you began to wonder veraciously if L, this Ryuzaki, if he was even a human being. Throughout this entire contest, he had not blinked, or even twitched. What was wrong with this guy?

"79...80...81...82..."

You felt your left eye flutter. A drop of sweat smothered it, and yet it remained pealed open. As for L, he squatted in his place as still as a statue, almost as if he were to be stuck in that position forever.

"94...95...96...97...What...is...wrong...with...-"

You stared. L stared. The seconds felt as though they were long dragging hours. You clenched your fists, squirming, thriving, hoping that you could summon strength from the rest of your body to your failing eyelids, but L remained undaunted by anything else around him.

At last, you snapped.

"Gah! What is wrong with you?!" you exclaimed, grabbing the sides of your head.

L remained silent. "Excuse me?"

"Do you have any eyelids? At all?"

"What are you talking about?" he was a bit befuddled by your impetuous behavior.

"It looks as though you have never blinked before in your life!"

L just stared expressionless at you, unsure of what to say.

"See?! I just proved my point!" you denoted L's large onyx orbs.

"Whatever, [Name]," L swerved his chair back towards the screens, "The point is I've won, and I get the cake."

Stunned, you could only blink at him for a moment. Then, slowly narrowed your eyes darkly and glowered at him.

"I hate you...," was all you could say.

As he brought the first bite of his prize to his lips, he reached over at tapped your nose playfully. You yelped quietly.

“And you’re cute,” he replied, stuffing his face.


	4. Pretend

[L x Reader]

Swallowing a hard lump forming in your throat, you glared intently at the arched back covered in the plain, white t-shirt. The endless set of screens played the same videotapes repeatedly, as if it’d never end. The voices from the speakers only came out as long drones to you. You watched as that madman of a genius packed his mouth with sweet after sweet, gargling it down with sugary coffee, then dangling another over his mouth before dropping it in.

You clenched your fists, and your stomach twisted into a knot: how could he do this to you? What the hell was he thinking? Could he not have done this another way? Did he even care?

Obviously not: _23 days. 23 days, L Lawliet will peacefully die._

Written by his own hand. 

Throughout this entire case, you attempted to calcify your heart, not allow that worthless organ form any kind of attachment to anyone knowing well any of them could be killed. While you appreciated and enjoyed everyone’s company, you remained distant. You pushed all possibilities of friendship away. You released all chains binding your inner freak, which was enough to keep others at bay.

How? How was it possible? How was it this off the wall, antisocial, sweets addicted detective managed to break down her barriers-and so easily!

“Hey,” came the monotone voice. “Are you just going to stand there? Come, sit down.”

“Huh?” you shook your head. “Oh, right. Sorry.” You cleared your throat and approached the leather seat he had spun around for you.

“Here,” he pushed over a delicate and light piece of short cake, resting on a glass plate. “It’s your favorite. Please, help yourself.”

“Yeah, thanks,” your voice trailed off as you stared down at the beautiful delicacy. 

You choked back any tears or whimpers trying to push out of your throat. Pronging the cake almost aggressively with your fork, you stuffed a huge chunk of the cake into your mouth. 

“Hm, you were hungry,” he mumbled, still staring at his own slice. 

A strange, muffled noise emitted from the corner of your mouth as you nodded. Slowly, you raised your head and watched him dangle the fork over his mouth. What kind of moron would fall for this messy haired, pale as death vagabond with eyes so black and huge they bored into the soul of anyone who made contact with them? Who would ever be attracted to this lunatic who crumbled himself when he sat or hunched his back over when he walked and possessed an addiction worse than an alcoholics to sweets? 

You did, and it was bad too. You were so surprised no one said anything.

You two turned simultaneously to make eye contact. The silver fork hung at the front of his lips, but the longer he gazed, it slowly slid away and returned to its home on the plate. Then, with a smile, he playfully brushed his finger from the bridge of your nose to the tip. 

What kind of pain did he conceal behind those seemingly soulless eyes? What kind of sights did his mind filter through day after day? What sorrow did he bury behind that little smile of his?

“What is this?” he whispered. “Why are you crying?” 

“Huh?”

Sure enough, he pushed away a tear with his thumb.

Damn it. Normally, you hid your emotions with the greatest of ease but with L, you were an open book. The more you fluttered your eyes, the more your eyelashes soaked with tears.

His brows furrowed. “Can you tell me?”

You blanked. The words stopped in the burning neurons, unable to form coherently. 

Instead, faded visions floated over your mind’s eye.

You saw yourself plopping your forehead against the counter, wrapping your arms around your head and weeping bitterly. 

L blinked in surprise. Still, he gently pet the back of your head, waiting for you to at least possess enough composure to speak. 

_“It’ll be alright,” he said._

How would you reply to this?

“No, it won’t!” you spat. “How could it be alright!? What in your right mind would you ever say it’s alright?!”

“Well, from my experience, things, no matter how complicated, usually worked themselves out-”

“23 days, L? Twenty-three fucking days?! How could you do this to me?! You couldn’t have written, I dunno, 50 years or 80 or, better yet, not have done so in the first place?!” you clawed at the back of your hair. “How could you?! Why did you do it?! WHY?! WHY?!” 

Unsure of how to reply, he stuck his thumbnail between his teeth and gnawed.

Perhaps not at all. L was not one to express his emotions. He simply took a napkin off his tray and used it to wipe your eyes.

“I hate you, you idiot!” your inner monologue continued. “I hate you so much, I could beat the hell out of you right now!”

"Go ahead,” he replied. At least, you could see him replying. “I deserve it.”

One of your hands broke loose and flailed aimlessly in his direction before he caught your wrist in his hand.

The tears continued to fall, but L dried them accordingly almost automatically, never questioning. 

Yes, he might be the type to do this:

In your mind’s eye, you saw him, lowering his eyes, taking your fist and batting it against the top of his head. Your crying suddenly stopped when you raised your head. Swollen eyes widened in surprise, you watched as he punished himself with your hand. You grimaced again. You wouldn’t be do it. You wouldn’t be able hit him, so instead, you would snatched the cushion from the chair, releasing your rage on the inanimate object instead.

“You stupid, stupid son of a-!! Why!! Why!! You fucking idiot!! I hate you so much!!”

In reality, your face lightly twinged as you screamed internally, straining to desperately to keep those emotions hidden.

You threw the pillow at his head, but he took the impact willingly. Oh, how desperately you wished to do that now...

You could see yourself, lunging at him knocking him out of his chair. When he closed his eyes, ready to accept the rest of your punishment, you still would never find the strength to hit the one you loved. Instead, you would continue your crying. Instead, with one hand gripping his shoulder, you would beat yourself, right where your heart lived, that pathetic, worthless organ as it strained within your ribs for an escape from your abuse.

“You idiot,” you heard yourself. “I hate you. I hate you so much. I wish you would just die. I hate you. I fucking hate you.”

“Don’t do that,” you wanted to hear his normally monotone voice say. “I’m the one you should be punishing. Punish me. I’m the one who made the stupid mistake.”

“Why,” you repeated. “Why do I have to love you so much? Why?”

Why did you? Why did you have to choose someone who would give themselves up so easily? 

He stopped, until he was sure you were finished. Sure enough, only a burning dryness remained within your red, swollen orbs. He watched your face, flush from fatigue.

“Why, L?” you wanted to ask. “Why? Why did you have to write that? Why?”

But, you remained quiet, frozen in that same position. Your breath remained in the base of your throat. Your eyes squeezed tightly. Unable to say another word, you rested your forehead against his shoulder. He flinched a little at the contact, arms hanging awkwardly in the air. Following the long, drawn out pause, you finally could breathe deeply.

“Sorry,” you finally whispered. “You’ve been working so hard, and I’m over here crying for no reason.”

L simply blinked.

“I wish I,” your voice trailed off. 

The tension grew so thick, you were almost sure you could have cut it.

“What do you wish?” he asked, finally resting on the tops of your shoulders.

You shook your head. “Too much,” you longed to say. “I wish I could’ve been there to stop you. I wish I could stay and help you all the time. I wish I could have stayed with you forever. **To the end.** "

You inhaled his scent, his unique scent of tea and all things disgustingly sweet. His bony shoulder was not an ideal head rest, but you didn’t care. Despite his white skin and cold appearance, nothing but warmth radiated off his body. 

This was who he was to you. This was how you would always remember him.

After clearing your throat, you raised your head and flashed a smile. “How about we go out to get some ice cream or something? We’ve never done it in all our time working together. How about we get some fresh air?”

L’s eyes remained fixated on you.

You simply laughed nervously. “Sorry about that. I just didn’t sleep well. Just,” you lowered your head and scratched the back of your neck. “Just pretend that never happened, alright?”

He still only gazed into the depths of your soul with his black eyes. Despite his lack of social skills, he wasn’t an idiot. He knew something was wrong. 

Before he could inquire any further, you took his head and practically yanked him from his seat. 

“Come on,” you said with a smile. “Let’s go.”

Everything about you, the crinkles at the corners of your eyes, the dents at the corners of your mouth, all just a mask of your own hidden pain. Although it hurt to see you like this, he would pretend for you. If that was what you wanted, he would gloss over it until you wanted to speak to him. 

But, you would never reveal to him that you knew of his action. What was the point? It was settled immovable. No matter how much you screamed or cried, he would die much sooner than you’d ever want. 

A hint of regret bubbled at his heart. 

No, there was no reason for you to dwell or speak of it.

Instead, you would just glue yourself to his side, spend every waking moment at his side, ignore the facts, ignore the horrid feelings twisting within you. 

Just as you asked him to do the same for you, you would pretend you knew nothing.

As you greeted the warm rays of the sun, a cool breeze and the bustling streets of the city, you inhaled deeply.

“Ah, much better!” you cheered. “This is exactly what I needed.”

A quick breath of air escaped his nose. “You feel better?”

You turned to him. Just as a choking sob started to take a hold, you swallowed it down and lightly took his hand. After taking one more deep breath, you replied with a gentle smile,

“I’m just fine.”


	5. Wintersong

[L x Reader]

_~The lake is frozen over  
The trees are white with snow  
And all around  
Reminders of you  
Are everywhere I go~_

Dragging yourself from the comfort of sleep was like pulling yourself from a tempest, the waves crashing over you, dark clouds beating you with heavy storms. Yet, you woke to darkness, silence. Your eyes, swollen, red and stinging from the night’s tears, glazed over as you peer into your memories, a time lost. 

Time stood still in this room, while the rest of the world passed you by.

And despite the unbearable ache, the wound in your chest from a heart long broken,

you wished to remain in these visions, these figments of your dreams,

for they were the only thing keeping him alive.

_It's late and morning's in no hurry  
But sleep won't set me free  
I lie awake and try to recall  
How your body felt beside me  
When silence gets too hard to handle  
And the night too long_

Limbs weighted, you slowly tear yourself from the softness of your blankets, the warmth of your pillow. You push aside the thick curtains. The brightness of the sun against the snow pierce your sleep laden eyes, and you jerk away. As you rub your eyes with your woolen sleeve, you perceive the giggles of children, sprinting through their wonderland, carols tinkling in the clean air, happy conversation and cheerful greetings shared with loved ones, friends and strangers. 

A hollow smile perches on your lips. You are a shadow here, observing, never participating. 

Much like he used to be...

A shadow, staying behind, watching time roll by...

Your heart nearly stops, as if a knife cut deep into a place you want to ignore so much.

And old tears burn the corner of your eyes, something you fear...

_the reality you tried to hard to suppress..._

_~And this is how I see you  
In the snow on Christmas morning  
Love and happiness surround you  
As you throw your arms up to the sky  
I keep this moment by and by~_

Flakes glitter as they dance to the ground like little, falling stars. Trees bend and rustle with the wind, melding together in an exquisite pas de deux. Smoke emits from every chimney which cast a hazy cloud over the whiteness below.

But, the scene tires you know. You close your curtain and shuffle back to the sanctuary of your bed...

To the haven of your dreams...

There you would find him.

There, he becomes real.

_~Sense of joy fills the air  
And I daydream and I stare  
Up at the tree and I see  
Your star up there~_

Once again, you sink into your pillow, the silken softness cradling your throbbing head. A thin film of tears wash over your eyes as you gaze into your lost world, the unearthly realm you created for yourself to escape the grief of the outside world. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you tighten the blankets around your trembling shoulders.

Then, you see him...

A mass of black, shielding dark eyes, skin whiter than the snow, his back hunched as if once, he carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders:

this visage you long for the most, a legend, a hero in your eyes, the only man you ever loved.

Quivering fingers reach for him, stretch for the apparition.

He stands a moment. He observes you, until limber fingers reach for you too.

Time stands still while the rest of the world passes you by.

And as the blackness slowly engulfs you, you swear you feel his cold fingers interlocking with your own, filling those empty spaces, as if filling the tear in your heart...

As frozen tears streak down your face,

a thin smile rests upon your lips.

Here, in this strange place, this clouded limbo of sleep and awake, here he returns for you. Here you see him...

And it is the place you are willing to stay...

_~Oh I miss you now, my love...~_


	6. Control

[Light x Reader]

2:45 AM, and still, you couldn’t shut your yes for a minute. Every time you tried to sleep, images flew through your mind; Kira, the Shinigami, L collapsing in Light’s arms, the deaths of so many people right before her eyes, the names you had written yourself. Your heart raced violently and ached at every pulse. Any chance of rest was evaded tonight.

Who would be suffering because of these deaths? Was it really worth it? Is a new world even possible?

With another groan, you flipped over on your side, staring into the fire. Shadows danced across your body and the couch. Your [h/c] hair dangled in your face, and you tugged the wool blanket around your shoulders. What you would give for a moments peace, for a moment where your head wasn’t a filter for so many terrible thoughts, you muscles weren’t restless and your stomach upset. Would you ever sleep properly again? 

Another image flashed through your mind; Light, staring down at you, whispering in your ear, telling you of his plans and hopes for the future, his hopes for the new world, his desires for you. Who knew that your dearest friend, Light Yagami, would turn out to be Kira, the same Kira you attempted to catch for such a long time, the one you secretly admired? You never would have-

“[Name]?” a soft voice snapped you from your trance. Your heart pounding, you jolted your head from the pillow. 

“Who’s there?” once you jumped to your feet and pulled out the knife your kept at your side, you sighed when you spotted Light, shutting the hotel door behind him. “Oh, it’s just you. I’m sorry,” you muttered, rubbing your eyes. 

He smiled. “Vitayu.”

Ukrainian. Students always joked about you both, as smart as you were, so for humor’s sake, you’d pick a new greeting every day, keeping any watchers on their toes. It was stupid but it made you both laugh. Even as Kira, he still kept up your inside joke, greeting each other in random languages. Why? Sentimental value perhaps? A way to keep you on his line? You couldn’t figure it out but it only hurt you more. “Konnichiwa,” you replied, tossing your knife aside. 

“Japanese again? You say that so often.”

“I like Japanese,” you smiled weakly. “It brings back pleasant memories.”

His eyes softened ever so slightly.

“Is Ryuk still with Mikami?”

He nodded and casually placed his coat on the nearby rack. “Yes, everything has gone as I intended. Tomorrow, we will face Near, and I will win.”

You nodded tiredly. “I’m glad. You worked hard for this, Kira.” 

Slowly, he approached you and held your shoulders gently but firmly. “We worked hard for this. Without your talent in reading people and your own brilliant mind, things might have turned out differently or taken much longer. You were a wonderful asset.”

Asset? Was that all you were to him? “I’m glad, Light.”

You turned away and stood in front of the fire place, watching intently at the red and orange licks. Your heart sank into your stomach. Would he let you survive? Did he want to rule as Kira alone? Were you under the influence of the Death Note right now? Did he not trust you enough to let you live? 

He crept up behind you, took your shoulders again and pulled you close to his chest. Saying nothing, he gingerly placed his palm on the top of your arm, caressing it. You had seen this before with Misa and Kyomi Takada - one of them became his puppet, the other wound up dead.

Which one were you?

“Light,” you turned about to face him. You gazed into his eyes, those gorgeous, dark, feline eyes, the ones that haunted your dreams every single night. “You know I will always help you until the end. You also know that I would never turn you in,” the intensity of his gaze caused your legs to quiver a little. “But, if you no longer need me, just be honest with me. You can tell me. I realize you must rid of those you don’t need anymore for fear of a leak or someone turning against you and so on, but...”

He tilted his head. 

“If you can find it in your heart, please don’t kill me,” you said, surprisingly with no fear. “My mother is emotionally delicate as is, and my death might cause her to push her over the edge. I love you very much, Light,” you took his hands and swallowed hard. His face hardened more with concern than anger. “I support you as a friend and as your partner as Kira. I wouldn’t turn you in. I wouldn’t turn against you, I promise. If you don’t need me anymore, just let me live quietly with my frail mother, and I’ll still support you from a distance. Please, Light...Please...”

His face loosened a little but he just continued to stare into your face, scrutinizing, watching every muscle, every twitch. You were unable to tell if he was angry or disturbed. Maybe neither. Maybe he would take your request into consideration. Maybe he was finished with you after all. If the same person you fell in love with still resided in him, maybe there was hope for you.

Maybe it was wishful thinking...

Time suddenly seemed to stand perfectly still.

“[Name],” he said, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “It’s not so much about needing you.”

You knitted your brows. “What do you mean?”

After one more moment in tense, heavy quietness, he lowered his head and took your lips in his mouth. You stood frozen, unresponsive. Your eyes widened. 

“It’s about wanting you,” he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you again. “I want you. I want you with me.” He started off delicate but the more he kissed the more his kisses increased in intensity. At last, you inhaled deeply and accepted his kiss. 

“Light,” you muttered, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I-”

Once more, he silenced you with his lips, much longer, deeper, almost soul sucking. His grip tightened, his fingertips leaving imprints into your skin. You almost lost your balance from the pressure, so he held the back of your head, begging for you to be as close as you could possibly get. His tongue made its way in and met with yours. When they pulled away, both were gasping for air, but he still pressed you close.

“Would you want me bearing this heavy burden on my own?” his lips traversed down your neck, gently but vigorously. 

You had not realized it before how much you were in need for his touch. Just one kiss was all you needed to fuel the fire. Almost mindlessly, your fingers seemed to tangle unbuttoning his shirt. You were already so dizzy, you could barely reply. 

“Why are you trembling so much?” his hands slid around your waist and skimmed your hips.

“Are you sure-” you stammered, resting your chin on his shoulder as you slipped off his shirt. “You sure you couldn’t?”

He engulfed your lips again, breathing into your mouth. Clasping your shoulders, he pulled down the straps of your nightgown with his thumbs. 

“I didn’t say I couldn’t,” he said, panting a little. “I said I didn’t want to. I just want you at my side. I want you, [Name]. Let me make you mine.”

His eyes were aglow. Damn, you could kick yourself for this. You knew what a uncanny and shrewd liar he could be, and you were still giving in to his control. That glimmer behind them seemed to indicate the truth in his words. That’s what you liked to think. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t love him. Even if he was inventing it all, staring at his rippled body and beautiful face was too much for you too resist, especially as stimulated as you were. You did want him. In fact, you craved him ways that might be considered unhealthy.

“[Name],” he kissed up her neckline and nipped her earlobe. “Let me. We don’t need to worry anymore.”

“Light,” you choked when he claimed your lips again, brushing his tongue against yours. 

With your eyes screwed shut and his hands placed on your hips, he guided over to the nearest bedroom. He finally slid the straps off, allowing the silk nightgown to sink to the floor. When the back of your knees hit the end of the bed, you fell backwards with him on top. Desperately, you unbuckled his slacks, which he got rid of immediately after. Soon, complete skin on skin contact was no problem for the both of you.

He continued his attack on your mouth, neck and clavicle, leaving little bite marks along the way. You slid your fingers through his hair and arched your back, begging for more. The weight of his body trapping you to the bed, the power he seemed to possess looming over you, taking everything you had to offer just fueled your desire.

“Don’t you want me?” he whispered, grazing your sternum with the tip of his nose then reversing the path with his tongue. “Don’t you love me?

“Of course,” you moaned, a twinge aching your heart. “I’ve always loved you, Light. Even...even as Kira.”

“Ah, [Name],” before he finished his sentence, he marked tender and sensitive places across your skin with his mouth. “I am talking to you as both Light and Kira. You never changed in my eyes-you only became more wonderful, and I want to make you mine.”

“Light,” to your surprise, a tear escaped the corner of your eye. “I’m-I’m so relieved. I-”

“Hush now,” he kissed over your abdomen, gently stroking the top of your thigh. “Let’s just enjoy each other.”

You smiled and nodded. He hovered over you, returning your smile. You grabbed his head and pulled him down to kiss his lips once more, then his face, then his neck. You unleashed desires kept hidden so long. It was time for you Though you tried to roll over on top of him, he pinned your wrists to the bed.

“Not tonight,” he whispered with a smirk. “I’m taking the lead first.”

You pursed your lips. “And why should I comply?”

He chuckled. “Cheeky, huh?” he bent down to kiss your cheek. “Because I’m your god and your my goddess. It’s only appropriate that I should show my dominance.”

You rolled her eyes. Not this bullshit again. “Fine then, but you better make it good, Kira,” you stuck your tongue out at him.

He then laughed. “That’s my girl.”

At last, with a breath and a sigh, all barriers were broken, and you became his.

With a strained inhale, he laced his fingers with yours and ground deeply into you. Already you were lost in the sensations, but to keep you going, he ravenously worked against your neck, panting violently in your ear. You tugged at his hair, keen and intoxicated. The nails of your free hand scratched across his back. Marks of purple decorated the curve of your neck. He unleashed his frustration against you. He claimed your mouth again breathing into you and swallowing every noise you made.

“Give into me,” he murmured against your skin.

Biting your already sore lip, you nuzzled your face into his shoulder and caved in. Everything fogged with dizzying pleasure, and he followed you into that fog. Both remained still, content and satisfied. Finally, he rolled off you, one of his hands still attached to yours.

You turned on your side to face him. His eyes were closed, but his lips were still turned in a little smile.

“Light-”

“Shh,” he placed a finger over your lip. “You need to sleep. We need to sleep. We’ve got an important job ahead of us.”

“Right,” you laughed quietly.

“Come here,” he softly commanded, holding out his arms. You complied. Your chests were pressed together, and your head rested against his arm as they wrapped around you protectively. 

“You know,” he said. “You’re the first woman I’ve ever slept with.”

“You’re kidding,” you yawned and closed your eyes. “So, you were never intimate with Misa or Takada or-?”

He chuckled. Your heart sank a little at the way he just brushed it aside. Despite your jealousy towards them during the madness, you couldn’t ignore the fact that they were human lives not puppets. A little voice in the back of your mind told you to run. Run away before you sink to far down. 

“I wish I could say the same. I made some stupid mistakes when I was younger,” you felt your mind begin to drift away.

“Sure, you can,” he ran a finger along your spine. “Is this the first time you’ve really given your heart to someone?”

“Well, yes, I suppose-”

“Then, what does it matter?” he kissed your forehead. “You’re mine now, and I am happy to say I’m yours.”

Your heart fluttered, silencing any other voice of reason. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“[Name].”

“Yes, Light?”

He paused a moment as he attempted to gather enough strength against a heavy drowsiness. “I love you. Always remember that.”

Just before your mind floated away into a relaxed sleep, you murmured,

“I love you too.”

He watched you, your perfectly relaxed face, strands of your hair sticking to your forehead. He traced a finger around the delicate features of your face and down your neck. How willing you were, so sweet, innocent with a dash of corruption tainting you. A small but dark smile overtook his entire being.

You were under his control now.


	7. No Time To Waste

[L x FD!Reader]

_How much pressure could I implement into the back of my hand to burst this blood vessel?_

A fine china saucer so delicately cradling its teacup companion lightly _tinked_ as it was placed before you. The whir and hum from the machinery and the munching of a hungry mouth filled the silence of the isolated space as you toyed with the idea of bolting through the door or jumping out the high altitude window, despite everything being securely locked with no chance of anyone entering or exiting.

Still, either notion seemed welcoming - even if one meant an eminent and rather unpleasant death.

 _Would it function in a manner similar to that of an embolism or a bruise? Would it kill me?_

Long, skeletal white fingers dangled the grotesque photographs in front of seemingly permanently opened, black eyes, always inspecting, always suspicious, two voids into a cryptic and esoteric intellect beyond that of an average mind, a fascinating piece of art that would only bring shock and terror to its viewers - with only a thin intrigue to keep all gazes on it. 

Despite the long hours you spent working with the famous detective, mostly through the screen of a computer, you had yet to decide how you perceived this peculiar...masterpiece. 

You slumped into the velvet chair before finally taking the initiative to receive the steaming beverage prepared - a courteous gesture indeed but you felt no particular inclination to stay; quite the opposite as a matter of fact. But, you moved meticulously as not to allow the shivering of your hands to reveal themselves through an obnoxious clatter. It was not until the smooth liquid began its journey down your esophagus before you could finally steady and refocus.

Duty called, and even if it meant sitting in a dark room with a man even a zombie’s health would rival, examining pictures of horrifically mutilated corpses, you were required to follow accordingly. 

A part of you wished you were back at the agency performing your regularly scheduled autopsies. Then, you could go home at your regular hour, eat at your regular time, bathe at your regular time, and go to bed at a...semi regular hour. 

_”At least it means spending time with people who are alive!”_ a friend or fellow detective might say!

Did it though? 

With a form so thin and skin so sallow, did he _truly_ qualify as being alive? He moved. He spoke. He ate...kind of. But, regardless of these signs of relatively normal human behavior, he looked as though playing in front the gates of death was a sport to him.

And in a way, that was true! 

As an agent and a forensics doctor, you more or less had an educated enough opinion to assume that you inspected corpses with more life than the man sitting across from you. Your interactions with him were extremely limited, and he only ever requested to speak with you on a single occasion. That “quick meeting” morphed into a twelve hour interrogation and analysis of the evidence at hand. After suffering the surprise of the world renowned detective’s true nature, spending so much time with home alone in a dark room was the last thing you ever wanted to do. In your entire career, never did you return home so mentally exhausted and so emotionally consumed.

At least the food was nice...

After finishing the tea and returning it to the small glass table, your leg bounced slightly. Your lips pressed tightly together, and your stomach began to knot. He was like a man frozen in time: despite the earth’s continuous rotation, despite the hustle and bustle of life outside this secluded environment, nothing mattered except what was in his mind and what was in front of him.

Except you, of course. 

You were just stuck there, forced to take whatever information he had to give back to the investigation.

Even if it meant sitting here. Forever. In silence. 

A hard lump formed in your throat at such a vision. Your eyes darted back to the protruding veins on the back of your clenched fists. You just _couldn’t_ live through another night like that.

A self inflicted aneurysm was kindness in comparison. Impossible. But, better nonetheless. 

“Doctor.”

Your heart took a flying leap into your throat at the sudden shatter of the quietness. L’s eyes settled on you now, and the photos were now side by side and pushed in front of you. 

“What can you tell me about these two images?” 

What. 

The rusty wheels in your head squeaked and roared as they rather slowly turned in attempts to process the question.

Was this a test? Or was it a legitimate question? Was he messing with you? Did he really want to know something?

With L, the possibilities were always endless...and ambiguous as hell. 

More than likely, he was messing with you...

Clearing your throat, you scooted closer to the edge of your seat to take another look at your work. In any autopsy, the information you gathered was superficial to say the least: this was the condition in which the person was in. These were the marks found upon the person. This was the general health of said person based on the state of the body. The obvious conclusion with these facts was this. Simple as that. 

L was different. 

He looked beyond the exterior. 

With these tools, he dared to venture into the mind of the killer. With no hesitation, he wandered into the cavernous ideals of the murderer and utilized every information he could find to lure the criminal into his grasp.

Now was not the time to think as a scientist, but as a detective. 

Narrowing your eyes, and biting the inside of your lip, you studied the images before finally delivering your answer: 

“In figure A, the cuts are rather jagged and almost mindless in their delivery. In figure B, the cuts are cleaner, almost as if a surgeon has performed them. Despite the obvious mess, you can still see the difference between the tears of skin. The edges in figure A reveals that the cuts weren’t complete meaning a more aggressive tear. While in figure B, you can see smaller tears, meaning the cuts were finer and keener, making for a smoother removal of the organs” you tapped the side of your head. “The causes of death are still the same - an anesthetic delivered by a syringe through the carotid artery and then death by removal of the entire contains of the mediastinum. With that being said, due to such a difference, I’d go as far to say-”

You inhaled and forced yourself to meet his gaze.

“There’s a second killer,” your heart beat erratically. “Either that or the killer has been taking surgical lessons from someone else. But, the changes are so strong, I’d allude to the possibility of another killer.” 

He replied with a short hum. 

Uh-oh.

Were you wrong? 

Still, you continued,

“It would make sense either way if the killer was working with someone else anyway, especially if it involved using strong anesthetics. Since there are no other wounds, it’s never indicated that a struggle was involved. But, then again, I suppose you could get them illegally, but that wouldn’t account for such a shift in direction in terms of actual....,” your voice trailed off into silence, and your body settled itself promptly back into your chair.

Yup. You were definitely way off your mark. He was probably laughing behind that expressionless-

“Good. That was the conclusion I had reached as well.”

“Wait, huh?” 

As he reached for another piece of cake, he explained, 

“I sent these two images via e-mail to the rest of the investigation team working on this case, and while they could compare and contrast, none of them came to the conclusion that there’s than likely another killer working with the first one.”

You tilted your head. 

“Really? How is that?”

He took a bite and pointed his fork at you.

“Most of them suggested the possibility that the killer was too rushed to perform such a clean procedure when taking into account the proposed times of death, the times the bodies were found, and the locations, though there’s not much of difference between the previous murders and this most recent one,” he stuffed more of his fluffy treat into his mouth, taking a minute to savor the sweetness. “Unless the killer somehow became more proficient in his actions, the differences are still too striking to demonstrate anything but someone else being involved.” 

You tucked your hand beneath your chin to prevent your mouth from dropping. To think you somehow followed a similar, intellectual path as L...seemed more like a cruel joke than anything. 

“With this in mind,” he said. “We can go back over the present evidence and look for any patterns, supporting this conclusion.”

Go over the evidence?

Wait, this _wasn’t_ what you wanted!

“Hold on a minute. I-”

Before you could protest, he interjected, while stretching his neck forward, with

“I’ll have Watari bring extra food and tea for the duration of the evening,” he slipped from his couch and meandered to the desk behind him covered in paper and photos. “It’ll take quite a bit of time to re-examine and piece things together.”

“Listen,” hopefully, your body language would hint at your urge to leave. With a sigh, you rose from your seat and approached the desk. “I have had a rather long day, and I-”

Causing you to gasp, he pivoted quickly, eyes burrowing into your own, face close enough that his breath feathered against your face. A taut silence hung in the air for a moment, and your mind went blank. All hope of reading his expressions proved futile, because all you were granted were his vast, never ending gaze and that tight lipped frown. 

“Hm,” he shoved his hands into his pocket. “I didn’t know free time was an option with a killer on the loose.”

Ouch. That stung.

“Look, I know it’s crazy,” you rubbed your forehead. “But, some of us actually need sleep to function-”

“I understand, I understand,” propping himself in his squeaking chair before the multiple screens, he dragged the nearby dish full of chocolates closer to his side. “Please, do whatever you must.”

The usual monotony of his voice was tinged with sarcasm, and you couldn’t help but cringe. 

He gave you permission. He said you could go.

Yet....why did you feel so horribly guilty? 

True, a crazy killer roamed these streets, and he could claim another victim any minute. Still, plenty of detectives and policemen returned home after a long day of work.

Except L.

He not once slept, rested, or took a break. He understood that no second was to be wasted, hence his uncanny ability to capture the most elusive criminals. He stopped at nothing until justice was satisfied.

Who were you not to dedicate all your free time to this case?

_Shit._

Was this freak of nature actually reviving your conscience? 

With a groan, you pulled up a chair next to him, making sure to avoid his very obvious stare. Suddenly, you heard the screech of the metal plate echo within the room as he slid chocolate in your direction.

“Want some?”

Finally, you glanced up at him, narrowing your eyes to truly show your irritation. Rolling your eyes and pursing your lips, you grabbed a handful, shoved them in your mouth, and grumbled,

“So, when do we begin?”


End file.
